[ He's visibly relieved at that. Maybe this is something he's been having trouble with himself, trying to figure out where he stands and what his feelings are. But more than once this evening he's been worried about it coming to and end and, well, that says something in and of itself, doesn't it? He wants to have her close, to be with her.
Maybe it's about time he do something about it.
Sam shakes his head and reaches for her other hand, lacing their fingers together as he holds it against the mattress. He leans down to kiss her softly, a silent request to cease apologies or misgivings. When he breaks away, he stays close enough that his lips ghost over hers as he speaks. ]
I like who I am when I'm with you.
[ Which...is a big deal. Sam doesn't like himself most of the time. ]
You help remind me that there are still good things and good people in the world and that they're worth fighting for.
[It completely floors her. More than stopping her apologies, it renders her completely silent.
Well. There is a soft gasp.
It doesn't take any kind of trained psychologist to see Sam's crap self-esteem. Maybe to plumb the depths of it and understand it, but not to see it. So for him to say something like that is...astonishing. Both because it's so extreme and because...well...she wasn't exactly trying to do anything like that. She doesn't preach love and goodwill like Auntie Diana or Christine or any other members of the Order. She just...does what she needs to do.
How is she supposed to respond to that?
Fatima Aine Merali is seldom rendered speechless, but Sam is apparently a miracleworker.
All she can do is stare, lips slightly parted, eyes big and brown and wide.]
[ He's not sure if he was expecting a response, or anything at all, but the fact she isn't laughing at him is a good sign. For once he might have surprised her in a good way and that's a nice change. Sam offers a somewhat self-conscious, but honest smile. ]
[And now he's the one making jokes. It makes her smile. Not the normal, blase, smirky smile. One that hurts her face and wrinkles up the corners of her eyes.
Until she grabs a handful of his hair and pulls him down into a fierce kiss.
They're both insane. Completely. Totally. Utterly.
Fatima never once considered the possibility that there would be any kind of 'happy ending' for them. But for the first time, she thinks about it. And a part of her really likes it.]
[ The smile is one that makes him want to mirror it, of course, until his lips are otherwise occupied. She surprises him in the best way, clearly catching him of guard as it takes him a moment longer than usual to respond. But Sam is more than happy to, accentuating the sentiment and matching the ferocity of her kiss.
He doesn't think there's much of a future for him. However they get out of this, he's running low on options in regards to his own destiny. But he can still try to make one for her and enjoy the present the best he can. It might be just enough. ]
[She only pulls away when breathing becomes a bit of a necessity. And it's kind of nice to feel lightheaded and dizzy from a kiss, instead of from being hit on the side of the head or something.
Not to name names or anything.
Thoughtfully, she regards him a moment, before nodding very solemnly.]
Let's just...stay in bed for the rest of our lives. And be pirates and do a lot more of that.
[ There's a bit of reluctance on his side to end the kiss, but his eyes open again when she speaks. And then he gives a small huff, the edges of his mouth twitching upwards in amusement. ]
To think I thought we were past the whole pirate thing.
I've been a ninja my whole life. I could use a change of pace.
[Fatima brushes her lips against his and goes back to running her fingers through his hair.
The whole idea of a future is going to haunt her. Which is a terrible thing, really. Even if they had the world at the multiverse at their feet, there wouldn't be one. She would have to go home. And he would want to go to his own.
To his brother.
Which brings all of her concerns full-circle, really.
With a hard swallow, she lets her fingers trail down the side of his neck, tracing the shapes of the newest hickeys she's given him.]
It wasn't lame. What you said to me. It was actually probably the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
[ Unless, of course, your most vulnerable parts are pretty dang close to be knee. But he's confident she's joking. Mostly. ]
You don't need to be.
[ He's perfectly content to stay like this.
Well, a bit. Sam shifts, finally rolling off of her to take a spot on the arguably too small bunk beside her. They barely fit Sam, let alone two people. ]
You underestimate my neurotic need to be the best at everything.
[A joke. Sort of. Maybe a pseudo-joke.
With a deep breath, she rolls over onto her stomach, reaching behind her back to unhook her bra. It falls open, exposing the plane of her back to Sam. There are a few red marks from where it was digging into her skin, but other than that, she has a lovely back, tattoo and all.
[ The urge to reach out and run his hand along her back is only beaten by her attention turned on him again. Sam frowns slightly, his lips in a slight "o" for a moment. ]
[ Sam Winchester is nothing if not a good listener. He remembers their conversation, the parts he wishes be wouldn't need to included. His nips turn into gentler kisses that he strings along her shoulder. He pushed her hair to the side as he works his way to the side and back of her neck. ]
[A shiver of delight runs up her spine. She can't explain what it is she feels when Sam's skin touches hers. Exciting. That's the only word she can come up with.
The little moan is involuntary this time.]
The part where...
[Sam Winchester is distracting. That's what he is.]
The part where I said that I wanted to do right by you.
[ He's relieved to hear there isn't another incident he should be aware of, but he still pauses at the second part. Choose between them?
It'd been easier when Dean had just dragged Sam out if school. He'd had a life away from hunting, then. He'd had a future, he'd had Jess. Did he miss his brother then? Oh yes. But he'd more or less become resigned to his decisions and their consequences. He have up family to pave his own path. Hell, even after Jessica's death there had been a time when he thought he'd go back to school once they got the demon who did it all. Now he knows it's not that simple.
Would he have to choose? Isn't that what Dean has been trying to get him to do?
Can he live without his brother again? Even this cynical, volatile, terribly bent and broken version?
Sam exhales and wraps his arm around her instead. ]
That's not going to happen.
[ It's said in a manner that suggests it's simply because he says so. ]
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Maybe it's about time he do something about it.
Sam shakes his head and reaches for her other hand, lacing their fingers together as he holds it against the mattress. He leans down to kiss her softly, a silent request to cease apologies or misgivings. When he breaks away, he stays close enough that his lips ghost over hers as he speaks. ]
I like who I am when I'm with you.
[ Which...is a big deal. Sam doesn't like himself most of the time. ]
You help remind me that there are still good things and good people in the world and that they're worth fighting for.
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Well. There is a soft gasp.
It doesn't take any kind of trained psychologist to see Sam's crap self-esteem. Maybe to plumb the depths of it and understand it, but not to see it. So for him to say something like that is...astonishing. Both because it's so extreme and because...well...she wasn't exactly trying to do anything like that. She doesn't preach love and goodwill like Auntie Diana or Christine or any other members of the Order. She just...does what she needs to do.
How is she supposed to respond to that?
Fatima Aine Merali is seldom rendered speechless, but Sam is apparently a miracleworker.
All she can do is stare, lips slightly parted, eyes big and brown and wide.]
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I promise that sounded less lame in my head.
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Until she grabs a handful of his hair and pulls him down into a fierce kiss.
They're both insane. Completely. Totally. Utterly.
Fatima never once considered the possibility that there would be any kind of 'happy ending' for them. But for the first time, she thinks about it. And a part of her really likes it.]
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He doesn't think there's much of a future for him. However they get out of this, he's running low on options in regards to his own destiny. But he can still try to make one for her and enjoy the present the best he can. It might be just enough. ]
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[She only pulls away when breathing becomes a bit of a necessity. And it's kind of nice to feel lightheaded and dizzy from a kiss, instead of from being hit on the side of the head or something.
Not to name names or anything.
Thoughtfully, she regards him a moment, before nodding very solemnly.]
Let's just...stay in bed for the rest of our lives. And be pirates and do a lot more of that.
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To think I thought we were past the whole pirate thing.
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[Fatima brushes her lips against his and goes back to running her fingers through his hair.
The whole idea of a future is going to haunt her. Which is a terrible thing, really. Even if they had the world at the multiverse at their feet, there wouldn't be one. She would have to go home. And he would want to go to his own.
To his brother.
Which brings all of her concerns full-circle, really.
With a hard swallow, she lets her fingers trail down the side of his neck, tracing the shapes of the newest hickeys she's given him.]
It wasn't lame. What you said to me. It was actually probably the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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I would say "I hope it's not", but I'm pretty sure you'd hit me.
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I wouldn't hit you.
I'd knee you.
[And she runs her knee along the side of his leg for emphasis. Albeit gently.]
I'm sorry I'm not as articulate. I've just never been in a place like this before.
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[ Unless, of course, your most vulnerable parts are pretty dang close to be knee. But he's confident she's joking. Mostly. ]
You don't need to be.
[ He's perfectly content to stay like this.
Well, a bit. Sam shifts, finally rolling off of her to take a spot on the arguably too small bunk beside her. They barely fit Sam, let alone two people. ]
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[A joke. Sort of. Maybe a pseudo-joke.
With a deep breath, she rolls over onto her stomach, reaching behind her back to unhook her bra. It falls open, exposing the plane of her back to Sam. There are a few red marks from where it was digging into her skin, but other than that, she has a lovely back, tattoo and all.
She turns her face to him.]
I meant what I said before.
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What makes you think you're not already?
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Not already what?
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Maybe we're thinking about different things. What did you say before?
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Lots a things. Most recently something along the lines of...
[Playfully, she offers him a few sex moans, eyes narrowed and gleaming.]
Which, for the record, I also meant.
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Good.
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[She raises herself up a little to give him better access, her shoulder blades rising on her back.]
But I meant before that. During the part that involved less moaning and more arguing.
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Remind me.
[ Which part? ]
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The little moan is involuntary this time.]
The part where...
[Sam Winchester is distracting. That's what he is.]
The part where I said that I wanted to do right by you.
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Oh, that's what I thought. [ He places a kiss at the bottom of her hairline. ] Then my question still stands; what makes you think you aren't?
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Admitting she screwed up.]
I lied to cover for your brother.
[...being an ass. But it doesn't feel right to say that in bed.]
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Yeah, I noticed.
[ But she'd already come clean, hadn't she? Was there something else? ]
Or...are you talking about something else?
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[He was there the time Dean tried to light her on fire. And she's pretty sure she told him about the time Dean tried to shoot her too.
Did she mention the time Dean threatened her with Roddy's life? She can't remember, but it doesn't seem worth mentioning now. Roddy's not here.
She's quiet for a moment, enjoying his weight on her back.]
I was afraid to put you in some kind of position where you'd have to choose between us.
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It'd been easier when Dean had just dragged Sam out if school. He'd had a life away from hunting, then. He'd had a future, he'd had Jess. Did he miss his brother then? Oh yes. But he'd more or less become resigned to his decisions and their consequences. He have up family to pave his own path. Hell, even after Jessica's death there had been a time when he thought he'd go back to school once they got the demon who did it all. Now he knows it's not that simple.
Would he have to choose? Isn't that what Dean has been trying to get him to do?
Can he live without his brother again? Even this cynical, volatile, terribly bent and broken version?
Sam exhales and wraps his arm around her instead. ]
That's not going to happen.
[ It's said in a manner that suggests it's simply because he says so. ]
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