[ That's enough to get an amused huff from him. Sam leans forward, resting his forehead on the back of her shoulder as his hand stills on her stomach. ]
It's a nice thought, Fatima, but you can't make Dean easier. He's...got to accept some things. That you probably shouldn't be there for.
[ Lest he lash out, Sam would much rather be the target. ]
[Even if she could, she wouldn't go down that road. It's a thing she has about Cainites screwing with people's free will. Heavy baggage, but not relevant at the moment.]
I'm talking about trying to make some choices easier for you.
[She slides her hand over his, her fingers falling in between his, neatly.]
There's this thing that a lot of people don't like to talk about. About how this place is torturing us. Testing us. It's brilliant, really.
[All of that effort and foresight and intelligence wasted on such a horrible pursuit is tragic, but it's reality. No sense in crying over it.]
When we were down in the labyrinth, I tried to follow Dean because I knew you'd be looking for him.
Let me be clear on something: When things get bad, I expect you to go for Dean first. I want you to go for Dean first. Not me. Him. And if the two of us are ever being thrown off a cliff and you can only save one of us, you choose him.
[ He doesn't like this at all. Making these decisions easier for him by telling him what to do? No. That is a line of thought that has never sat well with Sam. It's why he and his father disagreed so often and it hasn't changed. ]
Every situation is different, okay? I know his strengths and weaknesses. I know what he can handle. [ Sometimes better than Dean himself, it feels like. ] And we have others, like Cas, just--don't. Okay?
[ He almost feels the need to prove her wrong, to show he can have it all if he wants. But something more sobering comes to mind. ]
[To her credit, she does stop. It probably wasn't the most delicate phrasing she could have used, but she figured it would just be easier to get it all out.
Evidently not.
She rolls over beneath him, turning into her back so that she can face him properly, her bra getting a little tangled in the process. One hand touches his face.]
It's not about what Dean can handle. It's about what we both know he can't handle.
[And what Sam can't handle, for that matter. Which is losing the brother he loves. But far be it for her to point that out.]
And what do you mean I'm wrong? I'm never wrong. I'm just that awesome.
[It's a thin attempt at humor, but she wants it to be clear to Sam that she's not looking for some kind of knight errant here.]
[ Dean can't handle a lot, he knows. He knows that things really come down to Sam--perhaps subconsciously. But he doesn't like to think about it. He shakes his head, leaning slightly in to the touch of her hand. ]
[ He shakes his head again, but this time he pulls away. What she's asking from him, he can't promise it. He can't promise anything to her or Dean for several reasons. The only thing he can say is that he'll do everything in his power to save them both if it comes down to it.
But no matter what she says, he's not going to just complacently agree who to put value on. Is Dean the one he always goes back to, would do anything for? Yes. Even with all his character defects. But she can't devalue herself either. And they both know Sam would much prefer to sacrifice himself than have to see either of them hurt.
He lets go, shifting onto his own back on the tight space beside her and runs his hands up and down his face. ]
[ Sam drops his hands to his sides and stares up at the bunk above them. ]
You didn't piss me off.
[ It's pretty clear when Sam is upset. It takes a long time for that fire to burn, but once it does, Sam is a lightening storm. Right now? Frustrated is probably closer. ]
I thought it would be easier. I really, really did.
[And Fatima falls silent for a moment, averting her eyes, staring at a spot on his chest. She replays the conversation a couple of times, forwards and back, analyzing each detail to see where she went wrong.
Maybe she went wrong long before it even started. She just doesn't understand the relationship between brothers. She can't.
But she does understand having someone in your life you'd die for. Or kill for. Or both.]
All right. Then I have something else I want you to promise me instead.
[And with that, she swings her leg over him, pulling herself up to straddle his torso. She just barely manages to avoid hitting her head on the upper bunk, although her hair does get a little caught in the boxsprings.]
[ Her boldness is a pleasant surprise, although the consequences of her actions make him chuckle. ]
Hold still.
[ He reaches up to pull the tendrils of hair free--he knows exactly how not fun it is to have your hair yanked. Well, at least when sex isn't involved. ]
[Of course, he would think of her hair. Not that she's about to start nagging him about letting her cut it again right now. But still. It's kind of funny. And it makes her smile as she leans in, her lips just hovering over his ear so she can whisper:]
[ He smiles at that. His hands run along the length of her thighs, stopping at her waist. He's not sure where this is going, but he's sure he'll like it. ]
That's okay.
[ Her breath on his ear tickled the hair around it. ]
Do whatever you want.
[ He'll follow her lead for once. Which is not something Sam Winchester usually does in the bedroom. ]
[For someone as bossy as Fatima, it's very hard to be submissive. But she yields to Sam's experience in general. At least in bed. She's a much better vampire hunter than he is, she's sure.
The phrase "Do whatever you want" causes some very mixed emotions, chiefly triumph and anxiety.
Fatima nips at his ear lightly, slowly working her hips against his. There's a timidity to it, uncertainty. But she's nothing if not adventurous.]
[ There is something special about going along this journey as she discovers her own sexuality. He's never been with someone like her before, on many levels. But things have already changed from the first time they kissed. That same eagerness, the upfront honesty that keeps him grounded, he can see it brimming beneath the surface. While Sam much prefers to feel in control of the situation, even in bed, they've reached the point where he feels comfortable enough to step back a bit and let her explore what she wants.
The motion of her hips, while tentative, is enough to reawaken his interest. He sucks in a breath through his nose at the nips as grips her hips more tightly, but not enough to hinder her movement. This is her show, after all. ]
[It's almost inevitable, that she works her way from his ear down to the side of his neck. She can't help it. It's something inside of her, something that she doesn't care to examine or explain.
All that matters is the more that she gently nips and sucks at his throat, the more confident her movements become. Her hips sway, languid and attentive. And her pulse quickens against his chest.]
[ He's certainly become accustom to her fascination with his neck to the point it's more expected than anything else. He wisely doesn't comment, of course, though he knows that he'll be needing to pop some collars or just wear hoodies for a few days.
Sam doesn't try to stop the way his own body wants to respond, raising his own hips to meet hers and helping rhythmically push their bodies together. He doesn't let himself wonder if she has another condom; just enjoy the moment. ]
[His response is encouraging. It means she's doing something right. Much better than the alternative of hearing him say "ow" or worse...something cracking.
Her breath gets faster and hotter, but she draws away from his neck to kiss him properly on the mouth.]
[ He gladly returns the kiss, open-mouthed and wanting. She can likely feel his growing interest pressing against her with each roll of her hips, but he doesn't ask more than she's willing to give. He runs his hands up her sides, over her shoulders to cup her face. ]
[She moans into his mouth a little bit, falling deeper and deeper into the kiss. Her hips don't stop, her heart is practically in her ears, and she's feeling weirdly floaty, like it's some kind of out of body experience.
And yet, she's hyperaware, both of her body and of his.]
[ He wants every inch of her all at once, and it takes more concentration than he's used to in an effort to hold back. Sex is one of those times where Sam just completely let's go, gives in to the moment, but that usually entails him dominating the scene, grabbing and tossing and loving all in one whirlwind of pent up emotion he has trouble expressing with words. This is entirely different, because this isn't about Sam remembering how to connect, it's about Fatima discovering herself.
He ventures a bit more boldness than he probably should to meet her tongue, but he needs it. He likes the weight of her body on his, light and soft but very present. ]
no subject
It's a nice thought, Fatima, but you can't make Dean easier. He's...got to accept some things. That you probably shouldn't be there for.
[ Lest he lash out, Sam would much rather be the target. ]
no subject
[Even if she could, she wouldn't go down that road. It's a thing she has about Cainites screwing with people's free will. Heavy baggage, but not relevant at the moment.]
I'm talking about trying to make some choices easier for you.
[She slides her hand over his, her fingers falling in between his, neatly.]
There's this thing that a lot of people don't like to talk about. About how this place is torturing us. Testing us. It's brilliant, really.
[All of that effort and foresight and intelligence wasted on such a horrible pursuit is tragic, but it's reality. No sense in crying over it.]
When we were down in the labyrinth, I tried to follow Dean because I knew you'd be looking for him.
Let me be clear on something: When things get bad, I expect you to go for Dean first. I want you to go for Dean first. Not me. Him. And if the two of us are ever being thrown off a cliff and you can only save one of us, you choose him.
no subject
[ He doesn't like this at all. Making these decisions easier for him by telling him what to do? No. That is a line of thought that has never sat well with Sam. It's why he and his father disagreed so often and it hasn't changed. ]
Every situation is different, okay? I know his strengths and weaknesses. I know what he can handle. [ Sometimes better than Dean himself, it feels like. ] And we have others, like Cas, just--don't. Okay?
[ He almost feels the need to prove her wrong, to show he can have it all if he wants. But something more sobering comes to mind. ]
You're wrong, you know. About the labyrinth.
no subject
Evidently not.
She rolls over beneath him, turning into her back so that she can face him properly, her bra getting a little tangled in the process. One hand touches his face.]
It's not about what Dean can handle. It's about what we both know he can't handle.
[And what Sam can't handle, for that matter. Which is losing the brother he loves. But far be it for her to point that out.]
And what do you mean I'm wrong? I'm never wrong. I'm just that awesome.
[It's a thin attempt at humor, but she wants it to be clear to Sam that she's not looking for some kind of knight errant here.]
no subject
I didn't look for Dean.
no subject
[His words, exactly. Although, for the life of her, she has no idea what the hell that means.]
We both know that if it were in your control, you would have.
Gorgeous, I've seen the man come and go four times. I get what he means to you. Believe me.
no subject
But no matter what she says, he's not going to just complacently agree who to put value on. Is Dean the one he always goes back to, would do anything for? Yes. Even with all his character defects. But she can't devalue herself either. And they both know Sam would much prefer to sacrifice himself than have to see either of them hurt.
He lets go, shifting onto his own back on the tight space beside her and runs his hands up and down his face. ]
no subject
I did that thing again, didn't I? That thing where I tried to make things better and I just pissed you off.
no subject
You didn't piss me off.
[ It's pretty clear when Sam is upset. It takes a long time for that fire to burn, but once it does, Sam is a lightening storm. Right now? Frustrated is probably closer. ]
I just can't promise you what you want me to.
no subject
[And Fatima falls silent for a moment, averting her eyes, staring at a spot on his chest. She replays the conversation a couple of times, forwards and back, analyzing each detail to see where she went wrong.
Maybe she went wrong long before it even started. She just doesn't understand the relationship between brothers. She can't.
But she does understand having someone in your life you'd die for. Or kill for. Or both.]
All right. Then I have something else I want you to promise me instead.
no subject
Yeah?
no subject
It's really easy.
Just promise me that...that if you want to end this little...adventure that we're on...
[Somehow, the phrases "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" feel too mundane at the moment.]
...that if you decide you want to break up, it'll be because I'm a dumbass. Not because Dean is being a...
[...dumbass...]
...jerk.
no subject
If he hasn't managed it by now, I think we're okay.
no subject
I told you it would be easy.
[And with that, she swings her leg over him, pulling herself up to straddle his torso. She just barely manages to avoid hitting her head on the upper bunk, although her hair does get a little caught in the boxsprings.]
no subject
Hold still.
[ He reaches up to pull the tendrils of hair free--he knows exactly how not fun it is to have your hair yanked. Well, at least when sex isn't involved. ]
no subject
I have no idea what I'm doing.
no subject
That's okay.
[ Her breath on his ear tickled the hair around it. ]
Do whatever you want.
[ He'll follow her lead for once. Which is not something Sam Winchester usually does in the bedroom. ]
no subject
The phrase "Do whatever you want" causes some very mixed emotions, chiefly triumph and anxiety.
Fatima nips at his ear lightly, slowly working her hips against his. There's a timidity to it, uncertainty. But she's nothing if not adventurous.]
no subject
The motion of her hips, while tentative, is enough to reawaken his interest. He sucks in a breath through his nose at the nips as grips her hips more tightly, but not enough to hinder her movement. This is her show, after all. ]
no subject
All that matters is the more that she gently nips and sucks at his throat, the more confident her movements become. Her hips sway, languid and attentive. And her pulse quickens against his chest.]
no subject
Sam doesn't try to stop the way his own body wants to respond, raising his own hips to meet hers and helping rhythmically push their bodies together. He doesn't let himself wonder if she has another condom; just enjoy the moment. ]
no subject
Her breath gets faster and hotter, but she draws away from his neck to kiss him properly on the mouth.]
no subject
no subject
And yet, she's hyperaware, both of her body and of his.]
no subject
He ventures a bit more boldness than he probably should to meet her tongue, but he needs it. He likes the weight of her body on his, light and soft but very present. ]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)