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[runsaway]

❝ It's Sam. Leave me a message. ❞

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[dust_of_life]

[She continues to trail soft kisses along his shoulder for a moment.]

Why'd you do it? You must have known what could happen.

[Even in a world without a Masquerade... Sam's damn smart.]

[runsaway]

[ Why did he do it? It's a fair question. ]

I was tired. And angry.

[ As was he was most of his childhood. ]

We never spent more than a month in one place--there was no time to get to know anyone, to make friends, to really have what you do matter. I didn't think anyone would believe me, anyway.

[dust_of_life]

That's...

[There aren't words to describe it. Awful just doesn't seem like an adjective powerful enough. As much as Fatima's childhood was not of the norm, at least she had a home. And friends. A sense of community.

No. She can't find the right word for it. But...]

That tells me something important about you.

[runsaway]

[ He frowns slightly at that, looking at her across the line of his shoulder. ]

What?

[dust_of_life]

That you're strong, I guess. I mean, I already knew that you were pretty wonderful but...

[To be wonderful after that kind of adversity? It's astonishing.]

There aren't hunters like you, where I come from. Most of them are...I don't know. Not really human. But you are all the best things about humans.

[runsaway]

[ His eyes narrow a bit further--not judging, just...confused. ]

I don't know about that.

[ At school he really didn't feel like a human. He felt like something that shouldn't exist. ]

[dust_of_life]

Sam...forgive me for bringing this back into our pillowtalk but...

I mean...

You could have ended up like...Dean.

[runsaway]

Dean--

[ Perhaps not the best subject, but the mood has already changed, hasn't it? ]

--isn't...the same Dean I knew. Or you knew. What he went through--

[ Isn't something anyone should have to. And something Sam takes responsibility for. It was his actions, after all. It was always him. ]

[dust_of_life]

I just mean...

[Why are words so hard? And why is she so good at saying the wrong ones at the worst possible moment?]

You know about the things that go bump in the night. You're wise. But you're still...kind. Nice. Decent.

[runsaway]

[ She's giving him way too much credit. His smile is a little sad, because--because he wishes he didn't. He always coveted the ignorance of those sorts of things, always wished he could switch places. Now he knows he can't, he won't because he doesn't want to put this on anyone else, but he doesn't think that makes him a good person.

He wants to be a good person. He's not sure if he is. ]

I'd hate to see the hunters you've run into.

[dust_of_life]

[She settles her head on his shoulder, looking up at him from under half-lidded eyes.]

Sometimes, it's hard to tell the monster hunters from the monsters they hunt. They get twisted. Sometimes by revenge. Sometimes just by seeing too much to ever be wide-eyed again. They stop seeing the difference between a vampire who murders babies and bathes in the blood of virgins and a vampire who donates to Oprah and participates in relief efforts after Hurricane Katrina.

Or between vampires and people like me.

[runsaway]

[ He reaches over to grab hold one of her hands, rubbing her palm with his thumb. ]

...Do you donate to Oprah?

[dust_of_life]

[Okay, that one is unexpected. And she lets out a soft guffaw at it.]

Sam, I may be a dhampir princess, but that doesn't mean I have actual money.

[runsaway]

Princess?

[ That's a detail she's either forgot to mention or a term she's using liberally. ]

Now I definitely know you're out of my league.

[dust_of_life]

[Oh, she's definitely being liberal with it. Although, in all fairness, there aren't any other dhampir family lines. Some ghoul bloodlines, sure. But dhampir? It's just the Merali girls. The miraculous Merali girls.

A line that's going to dead-end, most likely, with Fatima.

Mixed feelings there.]

Didn't know you were banging royalty, huh?

[A pause.]

Was that an appropriate use of the verb "bang?" Do people still use that?

[runsaway]

[ They could go for round three and find out. Sam gives a huff, then brings her hand up to his lips to kiss her knuckles. ]

is that what we're doing?

[dust_of_life]

[There's some connotation there that she's missing.]

You tell me.

[runsaway]

I don't think so.

[ He's never been the kind of guy who just hooks up. Has he? Yes, but Sam much prefers everything else that comes with being in a relationship with someone. He likes feeling connected, close. You don't get that from a stranger. ]

[dust_of_life]

Okay.

[She plays it smooth and easy, although she has no idea what the fuck is going on or how she messed up.

Words. Hard. So hard.]

So what are we doing?

[runsaway]

[ His mind wanders back to her earlier slip--and a slip is exactly what it was. There's no sense in bringing that up again, right? That would be the definition of awkward. Sam sobers a bit, taking a moment to kiss her knuckles again, along the back of her hand. ]

Maybe something we shouldn't. But you're my girlfriend and...I like being able to say that.

[dust_of_life]

[She watches him, quietly, in the dim light of the room. How long have they known each other? How long have they been a thing? She honestly doesn't know. She's lost a lot of days and the multiverse has never been linear.

Still...

It also makes for strange bedfellows. And in some unusual sense, she feels like she knows him better than she should.]

You have pensive face.

[runsaway]

[ And now he has a slightly surprised face, or maybe he just looks like he's been put on the spot. His motions still, but he doesn't let go of her hand. ]

Do I?

[dust_of_life]

[If she was unsure of it before, she's pretty sure now. Fatima nods slightly, giving his fingers a gentle squeeze.]

What is it?

[runsaway]

[ He swallows slightly before forcing a small smile, bringing her hand back to his mouth. ]

It's nothing.

[ He's fairly sure. ]

[dust_of_life]

You are a very bad liar, Sam Winchester.

[But also a very private person. She gets that. And after the emotional marathon they've both run, she'll let it go.

For now.

She brushes her thumb against the side of his hand.]

As your girlfriend, I should probably tell you...it's your turn to talk to Cas about...stuff.