[ HE DOES NOT WANT TO TALK TO YOU. After everything that happened, how Sam had to chase Lucifer around for a week to stop him from killing people. For locking Sam up. For betraying his trust in turn. ]
Yeah.
[ He waits a while, a considerable while, on purpose, before he responds. ]
[ There are so many things Sam wants to say to that, but the fact that this is over text helps him reel them in. As angry as he is at Dean, he doesn't want to start something. Right now, at least. Give him five minutes and ask him. ]
He suggested the idea, yes. Also that you join us. I said you wouldn't agree. Not with me involved. I'm going to guess you didn't know I would be until now.
[ At least Dean...has absorbed that Sam is mad and won't be placated by Dean saying "I'm doing what's right."
Can he be more of a snotty little brother in this conversation? Possibly. Keeping his responses short and clipped probably isn't helping Dean trying to be on good behavior. So Sam...tries. As much as he doesn't want to. ]
[ this is difficult. it's difficult and he doesn't know if he's doing the right thing, but cas' words ring loud and clear in his head, so eventually he types out the simple truth; ]
I lost you before because I didn't believe in you. It's not a mistake I want to make again.
[ It's really the basis of Sam's fears. Neither Dean believes in him, thinks he can make a difference, and if he can't, then what's the point? Both futures will be screwed up since apparently that's all he can do. But he wants Dean's support more than anything. He needs it even if he doesn't want to. Having Castiel back him up helps a lot, having Fatima pep talk him is a blessing too, but Dean?
At the end of the day, it comes down to him and Dean. And Sam honestly doesn't feel as strong without his brother. ]
[ dean doesn't know what he expects but it's not that. maybe for sam to throw the words back in his face, tell him it's too late to be realizing this stuff now-- or just something. anything but what he gets.
he doesn't know how to reply either, for once afraid of the damage his words could do if he chooses them wrong. ]
You need to promise me you'll come to me though. When shit gets bad, when something happens. Especially if Lucifer-- or anyone is twisting your arm.
[ because if he founds out how he did before, that's when he loses his shit and things like the church happens. ]
[ Sam kept it to himself and he realizes that was his big mistake. He can admit to that much. ]
I know I should've said something.
[ He shouldn't have tried to take it all on by himself. But his fears were justified when Dean reacted how he did...and Sam doesn't want it to happen again. ]
We both made mistakes Sam. I want to move past them.
[ with him. so that they can tackle the real problems at hand and not the ones they've created between them. it's a surprisingly mature thought, even dean recognizes as much... now if only he could trust his temper to not fuck this all up down the road. ]
[ It is remarkably mature and another thing Sam didn't expect from Dean, especially this one. Maybe it's too good to be true, but God, he wants to believe it. ]
Okay.
[ A part of him wants to fight, but he's said everything he wanted to in the sewers. They're still mad, things aren't okay, but...yeah. If Dean's willing? So is Sam. ]
[ alright then! alright. okay good. there's a brief smile from dean's end, something relived and content for the first time in a while. not that sam can see it but-- he's glad. so glad.
his text comes a little while later. ]
Have you been alright? Since our trip to that town.
[ It's a simple question which he should give a simple answer to. ]
Yeah.
[ Except it's really not so simple. He should be honest. ]
No.
[ He hasn't been alright. However a shaky truce they've just agreed to, Sam doesn't feel comfortable talking to this Dean about Fatima. Her death still shook Sam and something else is going on. There's also still one big point of contention:
Lucifer.
Can Sam admit he followed Lucifer around all last week? ]
I have to be honest with you, Dean. [ And he will be, even if he's uncertain of how Dean will take this. ] Lucifer went on a rampage last week and I tried to save as many people as I could. He got his angel status back at the end and I haven't seen him since.
[ so at least he's fucked off for now. the rampaging had been expected since the shift from zelien to that town had happened, and dean had lost track of the devil. it had never meant to happen, lucifer had never been supposed to get free again, out of their grasp... but he had.
[ He's not mad. At least that part is good. Of course Sam is neglecting to tell Dean he spent time trying to distract Lucifer from killing people, but...that's probably for the best. ]
No. He took over the entire hotel. I just left. I couldn't do anything.
[ Not at that point. Convincing a human to slow down? Possible. Telling a pissed off archangel to stop the snow storm? More difficult. Harder to follow, too. ]
[ he's not mad but he's not pleased either. still, the fact that he's breathing and hasn't seen lucifer since the church means the devil is still refusing to kill him...
it means they have time. ]
Good. No need for you to get caught up in that. He'll show his face sooner or later, Sam. We just have to be ready when he does.
[ He hopes Lucifer doesn't remember everything that happened in his delirium, but one thing he does know is that Lucifer seems to care what Sam thinks of him. ]
We know that he's going to keep his promises now, even if it's detrimental to his own safety. I have an idea.
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w15d4
[ hi sam T3T ]
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Yeah.
[ He waits a while, a considerable while, on purpose, before he responds. ]
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[ TRYING TO GO ABOUT THIS SO CAREFULLY.... but he doesn't like the hostility between them even if it's of his own making. ]
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[ Is Dean trying to fish for confirmation? Why did Castiel bother to tell him in the fir--
--...of course. "We" wasn't just Sam and Cas, was it? We included Dean. Of course it included Dean. ]
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Right. Yeah.
I think it might not be a bad idea.
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He asked you.
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I said you wouldn't agree. Not with me involved.
I'm going to guess you didn't know I would be until now.
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[ At least Dean...has absorbed that Sam is mad and won't be placated by Dean saying "I'm doing what's right."
Can he be more of a snotty little brother in this conversation? Possibly. Keeping his responses short and clipped probably isn't helping Dean trying to be on good behavior. So Sam...tries. As much as he doesn't want to. ]
I'm still mad.
[ Not that it needs to be sad... ]
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[ just putting that out there; what sam had done with lucifer isn't something dean'll be forgetting anytime soon. but that being said... ]
...But I think I realized I've been going about this the wrong way.
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You do?
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I lost you before because I didn't believe in you.
It's not a mistake I want to make again.
1/3
Is this even Dean? ]
2/3
At the end of the day, it comes down to him and Dean. And Sam honestly doesn't feel as strong without his brother. ]
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[ What else can he say? ]
I didn't mean to let you down.
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he doesn't know how to reply either, for once afraid of the damage his words could do if he chooses them wrong. ]
You need to promise me you'll come to me though. When shit gets bad, when something happens.
Especially if Lucifer-- or anyone is twisting your arm.
[ because if he founds out how he did before, that's when he loses his shit and things like the church happens. ]
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I know I should've said something.
[ He shouldn't have tried to take it all on by himself. But his fears were justified when Dean reacted how he did...and Sam doesn't want it to happen again. ]
I know I made it worse because I didn't.
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[ with him. so that they can tackle the real problems at hand and not the ones they've created between them. it's a surprisingly mature thought, even dean recognizes as much... now if only he could trust his temper to not fuck this all up down the road. ]
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Okay.
[ A part of him wants to fight, but he's said everything he wanted to in the sewers. They're still mad, things aren't okay, but...yeah. If Dean's willing? So is Sam. ]
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his text comes a little while later. ]
Have you been alright? Since our trip to that town.
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Yeah.
[ Except it's really not so simple. He should be honest. ]
No.
[ He hasn't been alright. However a shaky truce they've just agreed to, Sam doesn't feel comfortable talking to this Dean about Fatima. Her death still shook Sam and something else is going on. There's also still one big point of contention:
Lucifer.
Can Sam admit he followed Lucifer around all last week? ]
I have to be honest with you, Dean. [ And he will be, even if he's uncertain of how Dean will take this. ] Lucifer went on a rampage last week and I tried to save as many people as I could. He got his angel status back at the end and I haven't seen him since.
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and of course he'd throw a tantrum. ]
Did you speak to him before he took off?
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No. He took over the entire hotel. I just left. I couldn't do anything.
[ Not at that point. Convincing a human to slow down? Possible. Telling a pissed off archangel to stop the snow storm? More difficult. Harder to follow, too. ]
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it means they have time. ]
Good. No need for you to get caught up in that.
He'll show his face sooner or later, Sam. We just have to be ready when he does.
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[ He hopes Lucifer doesn't remember everything that happened in his delirium, but one thing he does know is that Lucifer seems to care what Sam thinks of him. ]
We know that he's going to keep his promises now, even if it's detrimental to his own safety. I have an idea.
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Where are you?
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